Along Came a Spider...

It was the first few weeks of Elyas's life, and we were still trying to figure out how to eat. We had been trying so hard to have a successful feeding that nothing was going to stop us. As I sat in my rocker and fed Elyas, I felt something brush against my bare shoulder. When I looked over to see what it was, there was a spider dangling next to my face. I immediately jumped up with Elyas and ran to the other side of the room, luckily I had a breast friend pillow and I was able to keep him latched as I ran. Well I stood and watched the spider from across the room and guess what he did, he went back up to the ceiling and ran toward us and began to repell back down to us. Up I jumped again and ran back across the room and follow he did. He was chasing me!!! Finally I went back and sat down on the bed and just watched the spider. From across the room he came down again and just sat and watched us. What a creepy little thing! He hung there for a while before he retracted back toward the ceiling and ran into the light fixture. I sat there and watched that spot for a long time, with an occasional sweep of the whole ceiling.

The next day as I was feeding Elyas (in the rocker) my eyes were glued to the ceiling and walls. After scoping the room for a while I relaxed. Right when I relaxed something fell on my head, I flicked it off and quickly looked to see what it was; there was a huge, weird looking bug! It was crawling across my bed. I was freaking out but I couldn't get up to get it, because Elyas and I had been having such a hard time learning to breast feed. As I plotted what I would do, I saw something in the corner of my eye. I turned my head and saw an ugly black spider crawling across Elyas's clean clothes in the closet. Was it the same spider as the day before? No, he was a different size and color.

Okay, I thought, this was getting weird. What was going on? Where the heck were all these bugs coming from? Could they smell my baby? Why were they so attracted to us? Ahhhh!

Is my story over? No, here is the worst, creepiest part!

So Elyas and I were doing a feeding session in bed. This was the best most successful session so far! It was comfortable for both of us. I wasn't in pain and he wasn't struggling to get or stay latched. As we laid there, to my horror I saw something big and black crawl slowly from the back of my baby's head toward his face and mine. I quickly flicked the spider off his head, but then became anxious and creeped out; I had no idea where he had gone. I lay there feeding Elyas and feeling very uncomfortable when there again I saw some black creepy legs slowly crawling over the folds of the blanket toward us. I grabbed the blanket around pinched it over the spider and crushed and rubbed the blanket together. When I separated the blanket there was no marking, no proof that the spider had been crushed, which meant he had gotten away and was somewhere in or on the bed still. I began lifting the covers and looking for the spider. I couldn't find him anywhere and hoped that the baby would soon be done eating so I could jump up and get out of the bed.

Did I ever find it? No. Has anything like this happened since? No. Thank goodness, it only occurred that week and I haven't seen a spider or bug since.

"How Has Your Pregnancy Been?"

People have been asking me how my pregnancy has been, and I really downplay it when I answer. They ask me how I'm feeling, and I say fine, but you know that is just the quick and pleasant answer. Who wants to listen to your list of ailments?

Well for those of you who really want to know how it has been...here goes:

My first, second, and beginning of the third trimester was literally miserable. I thought, "how the heck do pregnant people get anything done? How do they work? How do they clean? How do they move?". Why? Because I was noxious all day every day for that whole amount of time, and when my gag reflex was set off it didn't stop for an hour or more. I love how they show in the movies the cute little pregnant woman who wakes up in the morning, grabs her stomach, pukes and then it is all over. Who named morning sickness? Seriously? Because it does not go away after you relieve yourself once. It doesn't go away; it is there all day. I was even waking up from a deep sleep and running to the bathroom at night. The thought of food, the smell of food or other things, they would set me off. If I wasn't craving something I couldn't eat, because everything would send me running to the bathroom. I lost a lot of weight. They even had to put me on nausea pills for cancer patients so that I could manage to get a meal into the day. How did I finally get it to stop? I went to acupuncture, and after 2 visits my nausea started to subside and go away. I am truly a fan of acupuncture, and I even hope to use it during labor. The other thing that was miserable about the first 7 months of pregnancy was the lack of the ability to move without feeling excruciating pain. No fun, I would be so dehydrated because of my nausea that it would literally reveal itself physically. I could barely move.

Now that I'm in my third trimester and in my ninth month, let me tell you how I'm feeling. :D

Well, the nausea is gone, but my appetite is still being curbed by the most painful and strong heartburn I've ever had in my life; water can give me heartburn. I'm so afraid of it becoming stronger that I've really limited myself to certain foods. I've been eating a lot more dairy than normal; I've cut out any fast food, meat, some carbs (esp. pizza, etc), and even some vegetables (like broccoli) and fruit. I've also developed pregnancy carpal tunnel; my wrists feel broken most days. I took for granted brushing my hair and my teeth, dressing myself without wincing, turning a doorknob, buckling my seatbelt, locking a door, waving my hand, holding myself up with my hand in bed, etc. Those all seem so small and simple, but now they are excruciatingly painful. Another thing I’ve been dealing with is sensitivity in my teeth. My teeth get set off by something, I don’t know, a cold breeze, air, food, water, whatever, but when they get set off I am in pain all day. I try sensitive toothpaste, oral numbing gel, and my last resort is children’s Tylenol (the only medication I’m really aloud to take during my pregnancy). The good news is that this isn’t a daily problem, it happens 2 to 3 times a week; I just wish I could say that for my carpal tunnel and my heartburn.

The last three things that are appropriate to tell you about are the difficulty in breathing, the difficulty in sleeping/laying, and once again the difficulty in moving. When I was young I always said I was going to be one of those women who work out every day while they were pregnant. Well, it has been easier said than done. The problem has been my inability to move without pain, it makes it very difficult to stay motivated. It is very difficult to walk or even to sit down and then try to get back up again (that kills my knees); I think it is because all my joints are swollen making me painfully aware of every movement. Laying down is funny because I can’t lay on my back or I have to constantly pee, I can’t lay on my tummy because there is a basketball there, and I can’t lay on either side for too long before my hips begin to burn with pain. I have made a nest of pillows in my bed that surround me so that I can find a lasting comfortable position; which lasts for an hour or two if I’m lucky. Breathing; I took that for granted too. I have been gasping for air because my lungs are being compressed by the weight of the baby. So if I lean or recline back or lay wrong or even sit wrong, I begin to gasp for air. I’ve learned that putting my arms up in the air help open up the airway a little so that I can actually catch my breath.

What hasn’t been miserable about pregnancy? Feeling baby move and kick. Every time he moves, I suddenly forget about all the pain and suffering I’ve gone through. I begin to picture my future with him and Chris and none of the things I have mentioned matter anymore. They will soon be gone and I will soon have a new life in my hands. I can’t wait.

Things that have been making my pregnancy a little easier have been acupuncture, swimming, yoga, belly dancing, and the support from my loved ones. Thanks for all the support and love being sent my way.

Irrational Fears

Have you ever been in the back seat of a car and all these thoughts of a million and one ways you'll get in a car accident begin to flow through your mind? I hate that. I have been having that happen to me alot lately, and I'm not exactly worried about me, but I'm worried about my baby, I'm worried about my friends, my husband, my brothers and sisters, I'm worried about everyone I care for.

I guess that is part of being pregnant, right? Every time someone gets in a car lately I wonder in the back of my mind if it's the last time I'll see that someone I love. A movie plays out in my mind and I mourn their death before they even get in the car.

Last night I drove in the back seat of a truck, with a safe qualified driver, but all I could think about was what if we all die? Or what if one of these people that I love die? I wanted to grab ahold of everyone and savor them. I had to put my hand on Chris's back and hold on to him for the rest of the drive because I kept having images of him dying and I didn't want to lose him. I thought if I held on to him he would be okay.

I have decided that no one is allowed to die anymore...yea, I know, that wont work. But I just want all my family and friends to know how much I love and care for them. Even when sometimes you haven't heard from me in a while, it doesn't mean I don't think about and still love and care about you. I love you all so much!!!

I wish you all a long, healthy, and happy life, and please...Drive Safe!!!!

On the Rocks from UofO

Alright, I had to share this with you all, I absolutely love this. Enjoy!!!

Tolkien's Newly Published Book

JRR Tolkien is probably my most favorite author and biggest influences.  I love his writing, I love his stories, I love learning more about him. 

I just found out about a book that he wrote 70 years ago that was published for the first time in May in the UK, NZ, and AU; it is called The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun. Click Here to Find Out More

I'm anxious to get my hands on a copy, I wonder how good it will be? I don't want to get my expectations to high. What I mean by that is that The Hbbit, and The Lord of the Rings are two of my most treasured books, and I don't know if Tolkien's new book will come anywhere close to them. I know it is based on Norse mythology, and that he used alot of the Norse influence in the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings, so we will just have to see.

If you've read it, or are reading it now please let me know what you think.

The Lord of the Rings

This is just a really cool video that I found years ago on myspace:

Lord of the rings

!N!LOY!™ | MySpace Video

Happy New Year

It is the beginning of a new decade, the year 2010. Wow, it came so fast. Remember when it was the year of the new millenium? That seems like ages ago. I can't believe how fast time has gone.

I brought in the new year with a bad cold. I'm actually still sick and wasn't able to party at all; sad, but true. However, I had a great Christmas and had so much fun that it makes up for me missing my New Years Eve party.

With every new year comes New Year Resolutions. Well, I like to call them goals. I don't like the idea that from day one I'm going to try to flawlessly accomplish something and if I trip up then I'm done, I've failed my new years resolution. Um, no thanks. I like the idea of try, try, and try again. If I mess up, brush myself off and keep trying. I also like the idea of a goal picture collage. I don't have one yet this year, but will post it when I do. In the meantime, here are a few of my goals:

 To maintain a clean, fresh, and healthy mind. How?

• Write In My Journal Every Day

 To maintain a clean, fresh, and healthy body. How?

• Drink 64oz of H2O each day, 16oz of water before each meal.
• Exercise every day implementing cardio, weights, and stretching
• Eat healthy, well proportioned meals
• Awarding myself for exercising with TV, Video Games, or free time.

 To maintain a healthy and successful writing career. How?

• Read for at least an hour each day
• Write for at least an hour each day
• Practice vocabulary and grammar rules each day
• To keep notes of all my ideas

These are just a few of the goals that I am setting and working towards for the year 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!