Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My Dad

In the month of November I was inspired by Facebook to write a list of things I was thankful for each day.  I decided to expand that list to 100 things I was thankful for, and I was going to share that with you.  As I was preparing the list of things I was thankful for I got some bad news from my dad.  My dad come down with a rare form of cancer, they found the cancer by accident in his face.  He told me that they wanted to start an intensive treatment of Chemotherapy right away.  This he told me as I had just wished him a happy birthday.  Tears began to fall down my face and a huge lump clogged my throat.  It took all I had not to start sobbing.  The list of my thankfulness was immediately put on hold.

When you get news from a loved one that they have some terrible disease that could possibly kill them you are flooded with a ton of thoughts, regrets, and memories.  The one thought and regret that kept coming to my mind was my wedding reception.  During the reception, I was supposed to dance with my father to the song "My Girl".  When the song came on my dad and I talked and I told him I was tired and wasn't really feeling well.  He told me we didn't have to do the dance and we left it at that.  What made me feel even worse was when my sister-in-law pulled me off of my chair and coaxed me to dance with her and her cousins.  I gave in and danced but have felt rotten about it ever since.  That dance was meant for me and my dad.  I will never get that chance again, and I will probably never get that dance with my dad.

My dad has had his chemotherapy treatments.  He was in the hospital for all of December.  He has been home for a few weeks now and is so happy to be home.  He is weak and unable to do much.  He isn't recovering like the doctors had hoped.  When he left the hospital he seemed to be clear of cancer, but when he went back for a check up, his chemo doctor told him that he would probably never be able to have chemotherapy again because it would most likely kill him.  He didn't even check for cancer because he told him that if they found anything that there would be nothing he could do, that chemotherapy was no longer an option for him.

So far things are looking positive, but the last bit of news is concerning.  I hope that my dad has beaten the cancer.  I hope that it is over.  Right now he is in the stage of recovery and over the next 6 months he will be recovering and monitored for any signs of cancer.  He is not able to return to work or to be around a lot of people.  I am glad that he is able to be home where he is comfortable, the hospital tried to encourage my mom and sister to send him to a care home, but my dad wanted nothing more than to go home to recover.  I'm thankful that my sister is able to look after and care for my dad during this time; he is so happy that she is and is so proud of her.  

I'm thankful for all the prayers that were said for my father and for the prayers that are still being said in his behalf.  I'm thankful for all of the visitors that have come to see my dad, they bring him so much hope and cheer.  I'm thankful that I was able to see my dad over the Christmas break and that in that time he seemed to improve each time that I went and saw him.  

I hope that the next 6 months brings a speedy recovery and a positive outcome. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

My Goals

My want for a well scheduled blog might be a bit premature; I am about to go into labor any day now.  I think that if I tried to make out a schedule of days I will be posting to my blog I will only be setting myself up to fail, and making anyone who reads my blogs frustrated from broken promises.

I am sick as of this weekend; I hope it is just a common cold, but I’m not sure.  It will sure make for a difficult labor if I am still sick when it’s time; this I am not excited about. I am however excited to meet my baby, to no longer have heartburn, to be able to perform everyday tasks without difficulty, and to get down on the floor again and play with my little boy.

I think that when this whole pregnancy thing is over and I get the hang of being a mother of two, I will be able to start blogging regularly. 

My goals for this blog are to try to incorporate more of my writings and some of my personal experiences and thoughts. I have a family blog and it is only committed to writing about the family, so for me this will be like a journal/writing blog.  I hope to include poetry, short stories, fiction, and nonfiction writing.  I hope as well to include some interesting thoughts and experiences that I wouldn’t write for my family blog.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

My Blog is Scheduled to be Revamped

So I've decided that I'm going to revamp this blog a bit. I haven't really blogged here in a while because I have been busy with being a new mom and getting ready for baby number two. I also have been trying to adjust to a new town that I'm really trying to like, but it hasn't really been that easy. I do miss Portland. I miss the rain, the people, my family, my friends, the trees, the green. I have met some really nice people and hope that some good friendships will grow. Who knows, in 4 years I might love it here...but I really doubt that, I might grow to like it. We'll see.