I miss my dad. It’s been 2 years and the events of that day are still clear as if I was living it again. I remember coming home afterward and feeling so tired. I just wanted to crawl in bed and never leave it again.
Here I am 2 years later and my body remembers. My body feels the tired from that day. The pain, the hurt, the heartbreak. My heart was broken into a million pieces and the pain was so hard to bear.
But now I will talk about the blessings that happened.
Ten years before this my dad beat cancer. He got ten extra years with us. He got to meet my children, spend time with them, love them and be loved by them. He was given a blessing, the gift of time, the gift of life.
A little over a week before he died, he got to celebrate his birthday and Thanksgiving with us one last time and all my siblings and I were there. My dad went to the Hospital Thanksgiving night. When my brother and his family tried to drive back home to Idaho they had car trouble and had to stay until the part came in, so they got to stay until dad came home from the hospital the next weekend.
Dad came home on Friday. So many people showed up to help clear my parents basement on Saturday so that dad would have somewhere comfortable to be. All the missionaries for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the area showed up and worked hard to make it clean, organized and comfortable for my dad. Yvonne, and my dad’s ministering brother showed up and helped as well. And my uncle Steve and his grandchildren, my cousins children, came to help clear out the garage. Paul and his family got to spend almost all day playing games with dad on Saturday once the downstairs was ready for dad. Bryan got to hug dad that day and see dad for the last time. He was busy and on the go, so didn’t get to sit and spend time with him, but did get to say goodbye.
On Sunday Dad’s new comfortable reclining chair came. I went and got my kids from their dad’s and drove home. We would have gone straight to dad’s, but we weren’t sure there would be enough food for us. We came after dinner and played Golf (a card game played with Skipbo cards) with my dad and visited with him. We got about an hour of play time with him before he got tired. We told dad goodbye, expecting to see him the next day to play games with him and spend time with him. I hugged my dad and he hugged me back (such a blessing). We told each other I love you. It was our final hug, our final declaration of love to each other, our final goodbye, and it was all a blessing. We didn’t know it would be our last. But what a blessing it was that our last moments were spent spending time with each other and our last words were Goodbye and I love you.
So many blessings happened before my dad left and transitioned into death. I still wish for more time, I think that is natural. But I got 10 years extra, plus a weekend to say our final goodbyes. I love you so much dad and I miss you every day.
