~INSIDE THE MIND OF KIMBERLY~

My Dad

2012-02-07T22:32:00.000-08:00

In the month of November I was inspired by Facebook to write alist of things I was thankful for each day. I decided to expand that listto 100 things I was thankful for, and I was going to share that with you. As I was preparing the list of things I was thankful for I got some badnews from my dad. My dad come down with a rare form of cancer, they foundthe cancer by accident in his face. He told me that they wanted to startan intensive treatment of Chemotherapy right away. This he told me as Ihad just wished him a happy birthday. Tears began to fall down my faceand a huge lump clogged my throat. It took all I had not to startsobbing. The list of my thankfulness was immediately put on hold.

When you get news from a loved one that they have some terribledisease that could possibly kill them you are flooded with a ton of thoughts,regrets, and memories. The one thought and regret that kept coming to mymind was my wedding reception. During the reception, I was supposed todance with my father to the song "My Girl". When the song cameon my dad and I talked and I told him I was tired and wasn't really feelingwell. He told me we didn't have to do the dance and we left it at that. What made me feel even worse was when my sister-in-law pulled me off ofmy chair and coaxed me to dance with her and her cousins. I gave in anddanced but have felt rotten about it ever since. That dance was meant forme and my dad. I will never get that chance again, and I will probablynever get that dance with my dad.

My dad has had his chemotherapy treatments. He was in thehospital for all of December. He has been home for a few weeks now and isso happy to be home. He is weak and unable to do much. He isn'trecovering like the doctors had hoped. When he left the hospital heseemed to be clear of cancer, but when he went back for a check up, his chemodoctor told him that he would probably never be able to have chemotherapy againbecause it would most likely kill him. He didn't even check for cancerbecause he told him that if they found anything that there would be nothing hecould do, that chemotherapy was no longer an option for him.

So far things are looking positive, but the last bit of news is concerning. I hope that my dad has beaten the cancer. I hope that it is over. Right now he is in the stage of recovery and over the next 6 months hewill be recovering and monitored for any signs of cancer. He is notable to return to work or to be around a lot of people. I am glad that heis able to be home where he is comfortable, the hospital tried to encourage mymom and sister to send him to a care home, but my dad wanted nothing more thanto go home to recover. I'm thankful that my sister is able to look afterand care for my dad during this time; he is so happy that she is and is soproud of her.

I'm thankful for all the prayers that were said for my father andfor the prayers that are still being said in his behalf. I'm thankful forall of the visitors that have come to see my dad, they bring him so much hopeand cheer. I'm thankful that I was able to see my dad over the Christmasbreak and that in that time he seemed to improve each time that I went and sawhim.

I hope that the next 6 months brings a speedy recovery and apositive outcome.

My Goals

2012-01-24T12:12:00.000-08:00

My want for a wellscheduled blog might be a bit premature; I am about to go into labor any daynow. I think that if I tried to make outa schedule of days I will be posting to my blog I will only be setting myselfup to fail, and making anyone who reads my blogs frustrated from brokenpromises.

I am sick as of thisweekend; I hope it is just a common cold, but I’m not sure. It will sure make for a difficult labor if Iam still sick when it’s time; this I am not excited about. I am however excitedto meet my baby, to no longer have heartburn, to be able to perform everydaytasks without difficulty, and to get down on the floor again and play with mylittle boy.

I think that whenthis whole pregnancy thing is over and I get the hang of being a mother of two,I will be able to start blogging regularly.

My goals for this blog are to tryto incorporate more of my writings and some of my personal experiences and thoughts.I have a family blog and it is only committed to writing about the family, sofor me this will be like a journal/writing blog. I hope to include poetry, short stories,fiction, and nonfiction writing. I hopeas well to include some interesting thoughts and experiences that I wouldn’twrite for my family blog.

My Blog is Scheduled to be Revamped

2012-01-19T21:09:00.000-08:00

So I've decided that I'm going to revamp this blog a bit. I haven't really blogged here in a while because I have been busy with being a new mom and getting ready for baby number two. I also have been trying to adjust to a new town that I'm really trying to like, but it hasn't really been that easy. I do miss Portland. I miss the rain, the people, my family, my friends, the trees, the green. I have met some really nice people and hope that some good friendships will grow. Who knows, in 4 years I might love it here...but I really doubt that, I might grow to like it. We'll see.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-24T22:24:00.000-07:00

Halloween is one of my most favorite times ofthe year. I love getting all dressed up and going out to parties ortrick-or-treating. I love the goodies, I love the costumes, I love thedecorations, and I even love the television specials.

Here are a few links of fun things forHalloween:

My YouTube Channel

Here is a sample playlist from my YouTubechannel for Halloween:

Happy Halloween

One of the games I like to play aroundHalloween is the M&M game online. It is a pretty fun game with spooky musicthat gets you thinking creative. Here is the link:

The M&M Game

For those of you who like to be a little moreinteractive in their games I found a fun little Zombie game called Plants vs.Zombies:

Plants VS Zombies

For those who don’t like the scary stuff, adress up game might be fun for you:

Halloween Dress Up

Here is a place you can go to find recipes,crafts, and printables:

http://familyfun.go.com/

For all of you crafty people out there, here isa link for pumpkin carving and decorating ideas:

http://www.marthastewart.com/276965/halloween

And here are some pumpkin carving templates:

http://www.hgtv.com/topics/halloween/index.html

Here is one more link for recipes, crafts andcostumes:

http://www.amazingmoms.com/holidays-seasons/halloween/

I hope you all have a Happy, Safe, and FunHalloween!

My favorites for the week

2011-04-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

This week I've been loving the following:

The song "Price Tag" by Jesse J. Here is the video complimentary of Youtube.

The book "Peek-A-Who" by Nina Laden.

http://www.amazon.com/Peek-Who-Nina-Laden/dp/0811826023/ref=pd_sim_b_12

The drink Cranberry Juice mixed with Sprite.

The singer on Youtube, Christina Grimmie.

The makeup guru on Youtube, Kalel Cullen.

http://www.youtube.com/user/QueenBeeuty

The TV show "Monk".

The down sleeping bag halo from REI.

Eucerin Plus intensive repair lotion.

Burts Bees chapstick.

That is all for now. Just wanted to share ;)

Update: More Blogs to Come

2011-04-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

For those of you who follow my blog or have just found my blog you will notice that it hasn't been getting updated very often. This is due to my new busy life that I am trying to adapt to and am finally beginning to master. I will begin posting a blog here at least once a week. I don't want to commit to more than once a week right now as I am very busy with my new family; my little one keeps me pretty busy.

What is my blog about?

This is my personal blog where I will be creative, let my thoughts run free, and blog whatever I feel like blogging on any given day. I do have a family blog if you would like to follow that. You can follow that blog at ckjohnsonfamily.blogspot.com.

Along Came a Spider...

2010-11-29T17:04:00.000-08:00

It was the first few weeks of Elyas's life, and we were still trying to figure out how to eat. We had been trying so hard to have a successful feeding that nothing was going to stop us. As I sat in my rocker and fed Elyas, I felt something brush against my bare shoulder. When I looked over to see what it was, there was a spider dangling next to my face. I immediately jumped up with Elyas and ran to the other side of the room, luckily I had a breast friend pillow and I was able to keep him latched as I ran. Well I stood and watched the spider from across the room and guess what he did, he went back up to the ceiling and ran toward us and began to repell back down to us. Up I jumped again and ran back across the room and follow he did. He was chasing me!!! Finally I went back and sat down on the bed and just watched the spider. From across the room he came down again and just sat and watched us. What a creepy little thing! He hung there for a while before he retracted back toward the ceiling and ran into the light fixture. I sat there and watched that spot for a long time, with an occasional sweep of the whole ceiling.

The next day as I was feeding Elyas (in the rocker) my eyes were glued to the ceiling and walls. After scoping the room for a while I relaxed. Right when I relaxed something fell on my head, I flicked it off and quickly looked to see what it was; there was a huge, weird looking bug! It was crawling across my bed. I was freaking out but I couldn't get up to get it, because Elyas and I had been having such a hard time learning to breast feed. As I plotted what I would do, I saw something in the corner of my eye. I turned my head and saw an ugly black spider crawling across Elyas's clean clothes in the closet. Was it the same spider as the day before? No, he was a different size and color.

Okay, I thought, this was getting weird. What was going on? Where the heck were all these bugs coming from? Could they smell my baby? Why were they so attracted to us? Ahhhh!

Is my story over? No, here is the worst, creepiest part!

So Elyas and I were doing a feeding session in bed. This was the best most successful session so far! It was comfortable for both of us. I wasn't in pain and he wasn't struggling to get or stay latched. As we laid there, to my horror I saw something big and black crawl slowly from the back of my baby's head toward his face and mine. I quickly flicked the spider off his head, but then became anxious and creeped out; I had no idea where he had gone. I lay there feeding Elyas and feeling very uncomfortable when there again I saw some black creepy legs slowly crawling over the folds of the blanket toward us. I grabbed the blanket around pinched it over the spider and crushed and rubbed the blanket together. When I separated the blanket there was no marking, no proof that the spider had been crushed, which meant he had gotten away and was somewhere in or on the bed still. I began lifting the covers and looking for the spider. I couldn't find him anywhere and hoped that the baby would soon be done eating so I could jump up and get out of the bed.

Did I ever find it? No. Has anything like this happened since? No. Thank goodness, it only occurred that week and I haven't seen a spider or bug since.

"How Has Your Pregnancy Been?"

2010-09-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

People have been asking me how my pregnancy has been, and I really downplay it when I answer. They ask me how I'm feeling, and I say fine, but you know that is just the quick and pleasant answer. Who wants to listen to your list of ailments?

Well for those of you who really want to know how it has been...here goes:

My first, second, and beginning of the third trimester was literally miserable. I thought, "how the heck do pregnant people get anything done? How do they work? How do they clean? How do they move?". Why? Because I was noxious all day every day for that whole amount of time, and when my gag reflex was set off it didn't stop for an hour or more. I love how they show in the movies the cute little pregnant woman who wakes up in the morning, grabs her stomach, pukes and then it is all over. Who named morning sickness? Seriously? Because it does not go away after you relieve yourself once. It doesn't go away; it is there all day. I was even waking up from a deep sleep and running to the bathroom at night. The thought of food, the smell of food or other things, they would set me off. If I wasn't craving something I couldn't eat, because everything would send me running to the bathroom. I lost a lot of weight. They even had to put me on nausea pills for cancer patients so that I could manage to get a meal into the day. How did I finally get it to stop? I went to acupuncture, and after 2 visits my nausea started to subside and go away. I am truly a fan of acupuncture, and I even hope to use it during labor. The other thing that was miserable about the first 7 months of pregnancy was the lack of the ability to move without feeling excruciating pain. No fun, I would be so dehydrated because of my nausea that it would literally reveal itself physically. I could barely move.

Now that I'm in my third trimester and in my ninth month, let me tell you how I'm feeling. :D

Well, the nausea is gone, but my appetite is still being curbed by the most painful and strong heartburn I've ever had in my life; water can give me heartburn. I'm so afraid of it becoming stronger that I've really limited myself to certain foods. I've been eating a lot more dairy than normal; I've cut out any fast food, meat, some carbs (esp. pizza, etc), and even some vegetables (like broccoli) and fruit. I've also developed pregnancy carpal tunnel; my wrists feel broken most days. I took for granted brushing my hair and my teeth, dressing myself without wincing, turning a doorknob, buckling my seatbelt, locking a door, waving my hand, holding myself up with my hand in bed, etc. Those all seem so small and simple, but now they are excruciatingly painful. Another thing I’ve been dealing with is sensitivity in my teeth. My teeth get set off by something, I don’t know, a cold breeze, air, food, water, whatever, but when they get set off I am in pain all day. I try sensitive toothpaste, oral numbing gel, and my last resort is children’s Tylenol (the only medication I’m really aloud to take during my pregnancy). The good news is that this isn’t a daily problem, it happens 2 to 3 times a week; I just wish I could say that for my carpal tunnel and my heartburn.

The last three things that are appropriate to tell you about are the difficulty in breathing, the difficulty in sleeping/laying, and once again the difficulty in moving. When I was young I always said I was going to be one of those women who work out every day while they were pregnant. Well, it has been easier said than done. The problem has been my inability to move without pain, it makes it very difficult to stay motivated. It is very difficult to walk or even to sit down and then try to get back up again (that kills my knees); I think it is because all my joints are swollen making me painfully aware of every movement. Laying down is funny because I can’t lay on my back or I have to constantly pee, I can’t lay on my tummy because there is a basketball there, and I can’t lay on either side for too long before my hips begin to burn with pain. I have made a nest of pillows in my bed that surround me so that I can find a lasting comfortable position; which lasts for an hour or two if I’m lucky. Breathing; I took that for granted too. I have been gasping for air because my lungs are being compressed by the weight of the baby. So if I lean or recline back or lay wrong or even sit wrong, I begin to gasp for air. I’ve learned that putting my arms up in the air help open up the airway a little so that I can actually catch my breath.

What hasn’t been miserable about pregnancy? Feeling baby move and kick. Every time he moves, I suddenly forget about all the pain and suffering I’ve gone through. I begin to picture my future with him and Chris and none of the things I have mentioned matter anymore. They will soon be gone and I will soon have a new life in my hands. I can’t wait.

Things that have been making my pregnancy a little easier have been acupuncture, swimming, yoga, belly dancing, and the support from my loved ones. Thanks for all the support and love being sent my way.

Irrational Fears

2010-08-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in the back seat of a car and all these thoughts of a million and one ways you'll get in a car accident begin to flow through your mind? I hate that. I have been having that happen to me alot lately, and I'm not exactly worried about me, but I'm worried about my baby, I'm worried about my friends, my husband, my brothers and sisters, I'm worried about everyone I care for.

I guess that is part of being pregnant, right? Every time someone gets in a car lately I wonder in the back of my mind if it's the last time I'll see that someone I love. A movie plays out in my mind and I mourn their death before they even get in the car.

Last night I drove in the back seat of a truck, with a safe qualified driver, but all I could think about was what if we all die? Or what if one of these people that I love die? I wanted to grab ahold of everyone and savor them. I had to put my hand on Chris's back and hold on to him for the rest of the drive because I kept having images of him dying and I didn't want to lose him. I thought if I held on to him he would be okay.

I have decided that no one is allowed to die anymore...yea, I know, that wont work. But I just want all my family and friends to know how much I love and care for them. Even when sometimes you haven't heard from me in a while, it doesn't mean I don't think about and still love and care about you. I love you all so much!!!

I wish you all a long, healthy, and happy life, and please...Drive Safe!!!!

On the Rocks from UofO

2010-05-23T14:49:00.000-07:00

Alright, I had to share this with you all, I absolutely love this. Enjoy!!!

Tolkien's Newly Published Book

2010-01-12T04:40:00.000-08:00

JRR Tolkien is probably my most favorite author and biggest influences. I love his writing, I love his stories, I love learning more about him.

I just found out about a book that he wrote 70 years ago that was published for the first time in May in the UK, NZ, and AU; it is called The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun. Click Here to Find Out More

I'm anxious to get my hands on a copy, I wonder how good it will be? I don't want to get my expectations to high. What I mean by that is that The Hbbit, and The Lord of the Rings are two of my most treasured books, and I don't know if Tolkien's new book will come anywhere close to them. I know it is based on Norse mythology, and that he used alot of the Norse influence in the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings, so we will just have to see.

If you've read it, or are reading it now please let me know what you think.

The Lord of the Rings

2010-01-10T09:37:00.000-08:00

This is just a really cool video that I found years ago on myspace:

Lord of the rings

!N!LOY!™ | MySpace Video

Happy New Year

2010-01-07T01:02:00.000-08:00

It is the beginning of a new decade, the year 2010. Wow, it came so fast. Remember when it was the year of the new millenium? That seems like ages ago. I can't believe how fast time has gone.

I brought in the new year with a bad cold. I'm actually still sick and wasn't able to party at all; sad, but true. However, I had a great Christmas and had so much fun that it makes up for me missing my New Years Eve party.

With every new year comes New Year Resolutions. Well, I like to call them goals. I don't like the idea that from day one I'm going to try to flawlessly accomplish something and if I trip up then I'm done, I've failed my new years resolution. Um, no thanks. I like the idea of try, try, and try again. If I mess up, brush myself off and keep trying. I also like the idea of a goal picture collage. I don't have one yet this year, but will post it when I do. In the meantime, here are a few of my goals:

 To maintain a clean, fresh, and healthy mind. How?

Write In My Journal Every Day

 To maintain a clean, fresh, and healthy body. How?

Drink 64oz of H2O each day, 16oz of water before each meal.
Exercise every day implementing cardio, weights, and stretching
Eat healthy, well proportioned meals
Awarding myself for exercising with TV, Video Games, or free time.

 To maintain a healthy and successful writing career. How?

Read for at least an hour each day
Write for at least an hour each day
Practice vocabulary and grammar rules each day
To keep notes of all my ideas

These are just a few of the goals that I am setting and working towards for the year 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Christmas Entertainment Continued

2009-12-19T02:47:00.000-08:00

While sharing my youtube channel with my family, I noticed that the play all feature is not working. I hope these links will correct any problems if you have experienced any.

CHRISTMAS CARTOON CLASSICS

CHRISTMAS CARTOON RETRO

CHRISTMAS CARTOONS

WINTER

CHRISTMAS CARTOON ANTIQUES

CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS

CHRISTMAS STORYTIME

CHRISTMAS MUSIC

Carpal Tunnel syndrome

2009-12-16T23:37:00.000-08:00

As a writer it is important that I take care of my hands and wrists because repetitive movements, such as writing or typing, can be crippling. My carpal tunnel is flaring up and I thought I'd share with you what I do when this happens.

This guy's stretches are amazing, they work every time. Idealy if you have wrist problems you should be doing these exercises every day, not using them after the pain is already so bad that you can't use a mouse and keyboard, write with a pencil, or even grip a glass. However, if you have gotten to this point don't think it's too late, these exercises work wonders!!!

If you'd like to read more about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, click here.

If you'd like to read more about Tendonitis, click here.

If you'd like to read more about Arthritis, click here.

Christmas Entertainment

2009-12-15T21:32:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time I love to turn the lights down low, turn the christmas tree lights on, and cuddle up with a soft, warm, fuzzy blanket while watching a good Christmas special.

Well, nothing has changed, I still like it. I thought I'd share some good links for you to some great sites that will allow you to either watch those Christmas specials online or inform you of when all the Christmas shows are appearing on the good old fashioned television.

101 Classic Christmas videos

My Holiday Youtube Channel

2009 Christmas TV Schedule

2009 Color Coded Christmas TV Schedule

Merry Christmas with Cartoon Network TV Schedule

Christmas Television Specials List (USA, Canada, UK, etc.)

Holiday Specials List

Ok. Well, I hope you enjoy :)

A Cool Dream

2009-12-10T16:12:00.000-08:00

Last night I had the coolest dream. It was like I was in a ghost story, not a scary one, but an intriguing one none the less. The funny part is at the end, Tom hanks was in it, and he played an important character. Wow, it was so vivid, and so cool. I woke up and kept saying get up and write to myself. Well, I didn't listen to myself and there are holes now in my story, but I have written everything I remember and I think it is going to make a really good story. When I am done writing and editing and perfecting it I will share it, or a little bit of it anyway, with you.

Just Smile

2009-12-08T12:34:00.000-08:00

Not everything in life is fun and you may have had a real crappy day, week, or even year. Well, I know that you have to keep working to stay positive. I got layed off on Friday from my job, I graduated from college a year ago and still haven't been able to find decent, steady, well paying work. I haven't bought myself new clothes in...I can't remember...a year...2...3...I'm not sure. I've had to be really frugal, I've had to make sacrifices, I have holes in all my clothes, lol. Yes, sometimes that gets me down, but I'm ok. I'm alive, I'm healthy, and I know that I will make it through this rough patch. I have dreams and goals that inspire me and keep me going. I know that it will all work out in the end.

Some of the things that I do to keep myself from breaking down and giving up are:

writing in a journal
creating small achievable goals
walking for sanity, to clear my mind
drinking 16 oz of water before each meal
surrounding myself with humor and cute stuff (aka fuzzy stuff that makes you go awwww)
surrounding myself with people I love (family/friends)

Well here are some things that I found today that made me smile:

Loris liebt Kitzeln
by ChillClub

Bulldog Kisses Orangutan

U-ZOO | MySpace Video

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Are You a Writer Too?

2009-12-08T01:09:00.000-08:00

If you like to write and want to become a better writer then we have something in common. I am and always will be trying to improve my writing by reviewing grammar rules, doing writing exercises, always being open to constructive criticism and well, reading, reading, reading. Oh and lets not forget the most important thing, writing.

I happened to have stumbled upon a pretty cool website while infact stumbling with stumbleupon.com's toolbar. It is awesome and I wanted to share the link with you. It has writing games, writing exercises, recommended websites, and even more.

Enjoy:

http://www.languageisavirus.com/
http://www.writerhymes.com/
http://www.oneword.com/
http://www.protagonize.com/
http://www.famouspoetsandpoems.com/

Thanksgiving Fun

2009-11-26T03:00:00.000-08:00

So I thought I would compile a page of fun activities that I like to do on Thanksgiving.

I love reading the comics in the paper: Peanuts and Garfield are my favorites, but I couldn't find embeds for them, so here are some other goodies:

I love crossword puzzles and other similar fun word games:

http://holidays.kaboose.com/thanksgiving/thanks-word.html

http://www.mahalo.com/thanksgiving-crossword-puzzles

http://www.theholidayspot.com/thanksgiving/activities/crossword/

http://www.dltk-holidays.com/thanksgiving/wordsearch/index.htm

http://www.apples4theteacher.com/holidays/thanksgiving/wordfinds/thanksgiving-challenge.html

http://www.holidays.net/thanksgiving/game.htm

I also love to watch a good movie or television special on Thanksgiving:

I also like to read a good book:

http://www.ipl.org/div/subject/browse/hum60.60.00/%3C/

http://books.google.com/books%3C/

http://www.readprint.com/%3C/

http://educhoices.org/articles/Online_Libraries_-_25_Places_to_Read_Free_Books_Online.html%3C/

http://www.childrensbooksonline.org/%3C/

http://classicbook.info/

Yea, so pictured a more fun interactive page, but I think this one still does the job.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Time to Give Thanks

2009-11-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

I was going to individually thank everyone for all the big and little things they have done for me throughout my life. That seriously was taking forever, and I wasn't even a quarter of the way done when I decided that I needed to take a different approach. Just try to picture your own name in this message, because in a year or so I probably would have been done with an individual thanks for everyone.

I wanted to thank my family whom I love with all my heart for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for teaching me responsibility, love, integrity, and unity. I love each and every one of you, my sisters, my brothers, my mom and dad, my Grandmas and Grandpas, my cousins, my Aunts and Uncles; thank you all of you.

I wanted to thak my friends whom I love. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for your companionship. Thank you for helping me see the best side of myself. Thank you for not giving up on me, even when I should have called or written. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you for all the time you have given to build and keep our friendship alive. Thank you for your strength, your courage, your honesty, your wisdom. Thank you for being a friend.

I also wanted to thank my teachers. I have had many wonderful teachers, whether it be from school, church, or the walk of life. Thank you Grandpa for teaching me your wisdom. Thank you Grandma for teaching your love. Thankyou teacher for teaching me a formal education. Thank you teacher for teaching me values. Thank you teacher for helping me build my future. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for investing your time in me. Thank you for helping me get my Associates degree. Than You for leading and guiding me.

Thank you all for walking beside me and helping me find my way.

I love you all, and as you can see, this thanksgiving I am thankful for you.

Trick or Treat!

2009-11-05T00:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween everyone! What an awesome year. I had so much fun, I wish I could do it again this weekend.

Saturday I was able to take the day off from working so that I could enjoy the festivities of Halloween; I love Halloween!!!

I dressed up like Mrs. White from Clue...You know:

I was able to experience my nieces very first trick-or-treating, we had a blast, and scored big. Lots and lots of candy. Everyone on her block seemed to be a Halloween humbug, so we scouted out the best neighborhoods and chose our spot by how decorated every house was. We did good!

It was an awesome Halloween, I felt like a kid.

Flip Flop

2009-09-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

This summer has been a wierd one. I had planned on it being more leisurely and fun, but it has been busy and stressful. I was on a very wonky schedule as well, went to bed at 6 A.M., woke up about 1 or 2 P.M. To be honest, I hated it, but couldn't get to sleep at night right away when I would come home late from work, so my sleep schedule just got all screwed up. Well, I decided I hated that, so I changed it.

Chris and I decided to stay up all Saturday night last weekend and stay awake until Sunday night. We are now on a 9ish P.M. to 6 A.M. Schedule and I love it. I love waking up early. It wasn't easy at first. I was so tired this week, but I knew if I stuck with it I would soon be wide awake come 6 A.M. I've noticed a change in my attitude as well. I feel happier, more positive, and I am more motivated.

Another thing that I did to make a change that I didn't like was to put myself on a cleansing diet. I had been feeling sick alot and kept getting heartburn and indigestion. So I researched until I found a cleansing diet that seemed sound, and only lasted for 3 days. I ended it last night and I can honestly say that I felt it work. I immediately felt my heartburn leave, after only 1 day I could feel my digestive system working again, I no longer had a lump in my stomach. Here is the diet if you want to take a look: http://www.guideforbetterhealth.com/bodydetox/detoxdiets/3-day-detox-diet-plan.html.

The last two things that I did to make a change was to recommit to taking care of my body and my mind. The first thing is that I have been belly dancing every morning as soon as I wake up, followed by meditation. The second thing is writing in my journal every night before I go to sleep. It is helping me sleep better at night. My dreams are getting better too. They are no longer stressful dreams, they are just good dreams.

"I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life. It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference, gonna make it right...I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking if he'll make a change...If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change." Micheal Jackson

Reflections

2009-08-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

I've been having some really wacked out dreams lately. They are so extremely vivid, and they are the kind that are branded into your memory, giving me no choice but to ponder what they are trying to say.

Over the summer I have been doing nothing but work, sleep, and search for that job that every college graduate went to college for in the first place, as well as that job that is a definate upgrade from the one I have now but is not exactly "the one."

Well, my dreams have been telling me, some of them yelling at me, that I am doing it all wrong. In every dream I've had I see myself pondering out loud about my education and how my job search is going in the wrong direction. My dream self keeps saying in each dream that I should be writing, and that I have been moving further and further away from what I was born to do. I keep seeing myself surrounded by people that I have known throughout my life, and others that I don't know at all, and I keep explaining to all them that to do what I have always dreamed of doing I don't even need a college education for, and I ask them all why I haven't been writing. I go on further to tell them that I have always had the potential and ability to write and that I keep putting off what I should have been doing all along. Over and over, the same thing every night. The jist is is that my inner self is pleading me to write and I really have not been doing this.

Why? I don't know, but just maybe...

Fear of failure. Fear of being without income. Fear of success.

A Big Scare

2009-05-04T01:28:00.000-07:00

What are your worst fears?

There have been questionnaires that have been sent around friends and family on Facebook, MySpace, and even by email, and one of the questions always seems to be: What is your worst fear?

In almost every questionnaire result, the answer had been the loss of a loved one, or to have a love one hurt. Well, yesterday, May 2nd I woke up to a frightening phone call. My mother was in the hospital.

Why was she there? Good question, I wish there was a better answer. Doctors were baffled by the large and sudden spike in her blood pressure. She woke up that morning and was feeling very dizzy and very ill. A normal reaction, if you know my mom, would have been to go and lie down and rest it off, but she was feeling so terrible and so dizzy that she decided it was necessary to seek medical attention. When her doctor checked her out he declared that she needed to go to the hospital immediately.

I was informed later on, as I had been catching up on some sleep due to studying for midterms. I neglected to answer the phone when it had rung and so when the message finally reached me I felt so guilty and awful for sleeping through them. I was informed that mom wasn’t able to come home from the hospital until the doctors could get her unusually high blood pressure to come down, they said that she was at risk for either a heart attack or a stroke.

Well, forget about being able to focus on homework after being told that your mom is in the hospital and might have a heart attack or stroke. I tried to remain calm, but I couldn’t get the thought of my mom out of my head.

Chris and I decided to join Bryan for a movie, so we headed out got in the car and found one of our tires to be completely flat. Well, that ended my plans for going to mom’s house for the night, I was stuck at home. We tried to go to Less Schwab before it closed, but it was 5:30 PM when we found the flat, and Less Schwab closes at 5PM on Saturdays. We decided to go to the local theatre instead and saw the new X-Men movie “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” During the previews was a big long ad about mother’s day and boy did the tears well up in my eyes. I kept praying “Please let mom be okay” over and over. I had already called twice for updates before we left and no change had occurred.

The first thing I did when we got home from the movie was to call Tiffy. Thank heaven, when I called she said that mom’s blood pressure had finally come out of the danger zone and they were able to send her home. They did caution however that it was still very high and they gave her a monitor and some medication and told her to come back for a checkup in a week. I was so happy that she was doing better, as was everyone else.

I decided that that was to close a call. Mom is way too young. It is time for a lifestyle change. I intend to help mom, dad, myself, Chris, Bryan, Tiffy, and anyone else to start anew and begin a healthier lifestyle that will bring vitality, strength, and longevity to us all. I don’t want to experience another scare like I had yesterday. I want to nip it in the bud before it can happen, I want to prevent it instead of cure it. I want to be proactive with my health. I pray that we can all start and/or continue a healthy lifestyle and live a long, healthy, active life.

What if animals could talk?

2009-03-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what an animal would say to you if it could talk? Maybe you've cought your dog or cat give you a look that made you wonder what they were thinking?

I'm pretty sure if my cats could talk they would say, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy...wake up and feed me now, I'm hungry. Will you play with me? My litter box is gross, I'm holding it until you fix it. Will you rub my back? Ok, now go away, I'm trying to take a nap. Oh, wait, what do you have in your hand? Let me smell." So yeah, my cats would talk talk talk, but probably only to get what they want when they want it. However, at night when they become cuddley, they would be more likely to say, "I missed you. I'm so glad you're home. Can I lay on your tummy? I love you."

Now, I know that my cats would carry on a conversation with me if they could talk, but what about a chipmunk or a squirrel? Well, I imagine that that would be a funny conversation to listen to. I imagine a fast high pitched voice. I can see a chipmunk running along the ground just under a tree collecting nuts mumbling to itself, "This to, this to. Need this and this, and oh my gosh a human. Do you think she saw me? Yes. Oh no. Ok stand perfectly still, she might think you are a rock if you stand perfectly still. What if she takes my nuts? Oh no, she's still looking. NOW, RUN, The TREES GET UP THE TREES!" At the top of the tree you see the chipmunk glaring down in hostility shaking it's fist "I'll get you for this you big smelly monster, you better leave my nuts alone!" It begins throwing twigs at you and hitting you in the head.

Now, if you went to the zoo, I wonder the conversations that were carried on would be like. Let's see. You walk through the entrance gates and start your adventure with the penguins. To your surprise they are speaking and you understand every single word they are saying.

"Hey Dave, try the slide this time, race you to the top!" Penguin Dave looks at Penguin Lucy. "You're on Luc! First one to reach the top gets dibs on fish today!" Penguin Lucy looks at Dave, "Yea! You're so on!" They race to the top, Lucy's giggling, Dave is panting, but Penguin Bob jumps in front of both before either reaches the top, and down the slide he goes! "HaHa!" cries Penguin Bob, "I win, I win! I get dibs today!!!" Down the slide they follow and a water splashing fight begins as they dive above the water and flop back down under.

Moving on from the penguins you decide to go visit the Lions. It is a warm day, and they are lying still in the shade. You hear a voice, that almost sounds like a growl, but you can make out the words.

What did they say? Can you add to my story? Are you up to it? Can you keep it going and growing? Try it. Come on, I dare you.

Crossroads

2009-03-20T23:43:00.000-07:00

I once heard a talk at church that has always stayed with me. I can't remember who gave it, or exactly what the message was about, but I do remember it talking about life choices and the road in life and the direction you want to take is not always straight. He talked about comming to crossroads alot throughout life, and you will have many crossroads that will change the direction of your life depending on which road you choose to take.

He was right. I remember many crossroads growing up, whether it be the school I chose to go to, the job I chose to take, or the boy I chose to date.

I am yet again at another crossroad. I have just graduated school, and am back to work in the real world. It is a hard transition because I got use to my routine and I was a very good student and enjoyed every minute. Now I don't have a paper due by next Tuesday, a math test to study for, a final to study for, I just have one job and many many dreams. I just think I'm in shock. How odd though right, I miss homework, I miss classes, and I miss my proffessors. I loved them all, with a few exceptions.

Chris and I just had our 8 year anniversary and I'm still madly in love with him. We began dating in 2001, and we made it official that fall. We had such an awesome adventure the first summer being together. We moved to New Hampshire and lived in the town of Dunbarton for the first few months. Believe it or not, we built a tent and set it up in the woods and lived there while we both worked at a hotel. We would always go to work early to freshen up and go for a swim. It was so nice when we got our first apartment. We rented an apartment in Manchester, NH. The first thing we did when our realator left was fall to the floor and appreciate the comfortable carpeted floor. No dirt, No rocks, No Tree roots, No bugs. :)

That was a fun adventure but I grew so homesick for my family and friends, so a year later we packed it up and moved home. We ended up moving to Eugene, Oregon; what an awesome and beautiful city. We loved it. Our roommate however we did not love so much. The only good thing about living with her was that she gave me Tenshi my sweet, fluffy little kitty. We soon moved to the other end of town which didn't last very long because we needed something that costed less money, so we found a house in Springfield, OR.

Springfield. The only thing I can say about springfield is that thank goodness I don't live there anymore. I called the police at least once a month with people trying to break in my house and all sorts of crazy stuff. I hated that. The house itself I liked, and being close to Eugene was cool, but living in springfield was like living in a stinky, drug infested armpit.

I love the town I'm living in now, it is my favorite. I loved Eugene, but it was still to far away from my family and friends. Now I'm directly centered so that for almost all my friends and family it is only a 20 minute drive.

Life has had some twists and turns, I've been up and I've been down. I'm 30 years old and hoping to live for another 90 years. Who knows what crossroads I will come to then? Who I will become, where I will go, and where I will end up? Hopefully, it will be with the ones I love doing something I've always dreamed of.

Vote For Pedro

2009-03-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

Don't you love those commercials that have absolutely nothing to do with what they are advertising? Yeah, well it grabs your attention though doesn't it...mmmhmmm.

So I've been extremely busy trying to find a job. I won't lie, it is hard out there. I had over four temp agencies, my school alumni job center, and the Employment Office helping me look. I was using all of the job search resources that I recently learned in my career and life planning class which I took this fall.

Well, the good news is that I finally found a job, thanks to an answer to the email I sent out to all my family and friends telling them of my need for a job. The bad news is that I'm late on all my bills and have lost my phone service. If you want to reach me, I am most easily contacted by email, or you could call my mom or brother and have them relay it to me so I can call you back.

I live with my brother Bryan now, and have since February. Chris and I are liking it alot. Dominique is so fun. One of my favorite things to do is read Dominique a story at bedtime, we are currently reading Inkheart by Cornelia Funke; Dominique loves it. She told me "I want to be more organized, and I want to be smarter." Well I think those are awesome goals and I'm excited that she is letting me help her reach them. I enjoy helping her with her school work and I'm excited to help her organize her room.

Please keep me in your prayers, I really need it right now.

Saint Valentine: A Martyr for Marriage

2009-02-14T10:23:00.000-08:00

There is a legend that I like to think of on Valentines Day. Forget the modern day holiday that is meant for romance and courting, this legend is about uniting a love that is deeper than crushes and lust.

During the third Century when the Emperor Claudius II reigned, a terrible law came into effect that put marriage on the path to extinction. Claudius outlawed marriage with the belief that his married soldiers were weak because of love; with their families back home they would often be homesick and half hearted while out on the battle field. To create a stronger army, he passed a law that prohibited young men from getting married. By doing this he would have his pick of soldiers with their hearts dedicated to their work, ceasing any worries of their loved ones back home; a strong heartless army.

There was a priest who disagreed with Claudius and began to secretly fight the outlawing of marriage. Soon after marriage became illegal, Valentine risked his life by meeting young lovers in secret to marry them, keeping the sanctity of marriage alive.

When Claudius discovered Valentine’s treasonous act, he had him arrested and sentenced him to death. While Valentine was in his prison cell, young couples that he’d married slipped him notes through the bars of his cell thanking him for his brave acts. It is said that while in his cell, Valentine fell in love with the Jailer’s daughter. The night before he was put to death he wrote her a letter and signed it “from your Valentine.” A saying that is now used every Valentines Day.

There are other legends that portray Saint Valentine a hero to the Christians not only for assisting in keeping marriage alive, but assisting Christians to escape Roman prisons where they were being beaten and tortured.
These acts of bravery and love should be remembered each Valentines Day. Valentine became a hero to love, families, and marriage.

So, where did the idea to give Valentine Cards come from?

Some suggest that Valentine’s letter to the jailer’s daughter started the tradition. While this may be true, the oldest existing valentine today is found to be a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife after being captured in the Battle of Agincourt. He wrote it while he was locked away in the Tower of London in the year 1415. It can now be found at the British Library in London, England.

It wasn’t until the 17th Century that Valentines Day became popularly celebrated in Great Britain and America. By the 18th century it was common to exchange hand written notes or small gifts of affection. Printed cards began to replace the hand written notes by the end of the 18th Century.

Esther A. Howland became the first to sell mass-produced Valentines in America in 1840.

When people hear Valentines Day they don’t think about family and marriage, instead they think of romance, chocolate, flowers and cards. It is unfortunate to the man who gave his life to keep families and marriage alive, that no one today celebrates this day in his honor, but instead believe this holiday was invented by the “card companies.”

Now that you know about Saint Valentine, maybe Valentines Day to you like it has for me will become more of a family celebrated holiday than a quest for romance and candy.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T17:33:00.000-08:00

Chris and I spent New Years Eve at the beach this year; his mom and aunts rented a beach house at Gleneden Beach. It was so cool and so much fun!

The first night we arrived everyone was snuggled up in a warm blanket watching the movie "Quigley Down Under" with Tom Selleck.

After the movie we played the funnest game! If you haven't played "Taboo" yet, you have to give it a try! It was so fun to laugh at myself and try to think of words to get people to guess the word I had drawn. It was fun to watch others struggle just as I had done and laugh at themselves as well.

We all had alot of fun with a puzzle Chris and I had brought, I think it was the most popular entertainment.

I did alot of reading and relaxing while I was there. I am almost done with Stephenie Meyer's fourth book in the "Twilight" series: "Breaking Dawn." EEEEEE!

We all enjoyed watching "The Sound of Music" starring Julie Andrews, before I went and took a much needed nap to be able to stay up for the New Year. It was the first time Chris claims to have seen it; impossible...hmmmm, maybe not.

I was torn about taking my nap, because everyone gathered to play my very favorite game "Cranium". It is such a fun game. I found myself lying in the dark room with my eyes closed whispering or singing softly the answers to the questions being read. I couldn't resist, even when trying to take a nap.

At a quarter to nine, chris ran into the room I was taking my nap and had me get up to celebrate the new year with New York. What a fun idea! We all toasted and wished eachother a Happy New Year. Chris and I had a New York New Years Kiss, lol.

At exactly nine a fantastic and unexpected fireworks display started just down the beach from our house. It was a wonderful performance.

Chris and I left shortly after that and drove home. We made it home right at the stroke of twelve our time. We were happy to be home with our girls, Tenshi and Koko, who we always miss when we leave home. It was nice to be able to wish them a Happy New Year and they seemed very excited to see us.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-25T23:30:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come and gone, and what a wonderful Christmas it was.

Early Christmas Eve, the roads full of snow and ice melted a bit to slush, so Chris and I took this opportunity to escape our cooped up apartment and venture into town and buy groceries. It looked as though there hadn't been a delivery there in a while. All the vegetable had been picked through and there was not much left, however, I bought as many veggies as I could.

We decided to "try" to go to bed early that night, I emphasize try because we both went to bed quite late. At a quarter to nine Chris and I snuggled up while I read the poem "Twas The Night Before Christmas", by Clement Clarke Moore. It is a new tradition for us that we have started, and we love it.

We were both so excited for Santa to come. As soon as I heard Chris snoring in the other room, I stole away into the den, which we had designated our official Christmas Room, where nothing but Christmas is allowed. I unburied the presents I had hidden and began to wrap and prepare them; I wanted to hurry so that when Santa came I wouldn't be in his way.

Near the end of this whole process I heard Chris wake, and I quickly doused the lights. As I listened to his footsteps go down the hall, I held my breath, hoping that he would not open the door and find me. After a few minutes had gone by, I very slowly and stealthily turned the door knob as quietly as possible and crept down the hallway. I found Chris at his computer, but noticed that he looked like he was up to something...perhaps my Christmas Present...so I respected his space.

That night it was as hard to sleep as it had been when I was a child. I was so excited to see the look on Chris's face when he saw our presents from Santa; I couldn’t wait. The next morning at 6 A.M. we both woke up full of Christmas Spirit and excitement. I began chopping up fresh apples and peeling oranges for a fruit and cheese platter. When we were both ready, we entered the Christmas Room together.

Santa had come and he had done a fabulous job. We all opened our presents, including the kitties, then enjoyed a Christmas movie "A Charlie Brown Christmas", while we ate our fruit platter for an early breakfast.

At 9 A.M. Bryan came and picked us up to go spend Christmas at my Mom and Dad's house. It was a very slippery, snowy drive; I was a little nervous. It took us over an hour and a half to get to our destination. When we got there, Kylie showed us all of her Christmas presents, and we got to watch Dominique open her presents from Grandma and Grandpa Suchanski. Chris and I got to open presents too. I got the DVD "Neena & Veena Belly Dance Workouts", which is awesome, because that is exactly what I've been wanting.

After we had been there for about twenty minutes, Bryan was ready to go; he was very excited and anxious to get home and have Christmas with Dominique. We all decided to go and watch Dominique open her presents.

On the ride home, Chris, Dominique, Bryan, and I all experienced a magical Christmas Card moment. As we pulled around a snowy bend we slowed to a complete stop to watch a family of deer pose out in the middle of a meadow, in the most perfect Christmas Card pose I have ever seen. They were beautiful. They slowly moved out of this pose and that's when we scrambled to find a camera. Luckily Bryan had his camera with him, so I'll have to ask him for a copy. They ventured out onto the road, and it almost looked as if the biggest deer was challenging the truck, but it stood it's ground until it decided it was safe for the others. They gathered again closely together and slowly walked down the middle of the road in the opposite direction we were going. It was a precious moment, and a very awesome one to share.

At Bryan's house we feasted on a big Christmas breakfast with yummy hash browns and eggs, and a choice of eggnog or juice. We ate while we watched the movie "A Christmas Story." When everyone was done eating we followed Dominique to the Christmas tree and watched her open all of her many presents. Santa was very good to Dominique, so she must have been a very good girl this year.

After all the Christmas excitement everyone migrated back to their own homes. Chris and I came home happy, but exhausted; falling asleep to the lull of Christmas Specials, we both took a long winters nap.

Merry Christmas Everyone

All Things Christmas

2008-12-22T23:31:00.000-08:00

M & M Mondays

It's the most wonderful time of the year. I love the magic that grows inside me and all around me this time of year; the happiness and cheer that seems to spread, watching children's faces as they talk about snow, Christmas, and Santa, wrapping presents, putting up the Christmas tree while listening to Christmas carols, and coming in out of the cold and warming up under a blanket while watching Christmas movies. Most of all I love spending time with the ones I love.
Christmas music is a fun tradition that I love to honor each year and I have a pretty long list of Christmas songs that I love to sing and listen to this time of year so I will share just a few. I found these two videos on youtube to share with you:

Another tradition I like to honor each year is popping popcorn and watching a good Christmas movie or TV Christmas Special. There are a few shows that I love to watch each year, such as "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", "A Charlie Brown Christmas", "Christmas Vacation", and "A Mickey's Christmas Carol". I love it! I have included a link that will take you to my Youtube Channel where you will be able to watch a bunch of Christmas Cartoons, Christmas TV Specials, and Christmas Commercial. There is also a Playlist for Christmas music there for you to enjoy, it is still being constructed, so each time you visit there may be something new that I have added for you.

http://www.youtube.com/homework28

I hope you enjoy, I know I will :D
Merry Christmas To All, And to All a Good Night!

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

2008-12-14T23:00:00.000-08:00

SNOW DAY

Wow what a day! An unusual and extremely fun one for Oregonians. Why's that? Well, snow is not very common here, and when it does snow, it is usually gone within an hour. However, that was not the case today.

My niece came over today to announce the snow and get me to come out and play, and so Chris, Dominique, and I all had a very fun snow day. We did many fun things together:

We had a snowball fight.

We went for a winter wonderland walk in the woods.

Then we went to the park and built a snowman on a park bench; however, by then my camera died and so I couldn't take anymore pictures.
It was such a fun day. The snow fell for a long time with great big flakes. It painted the whole town white and you could see the occasional car go by, but not as many as you would have seen on a clear day. No, today was a special day, because it felt as if time stood still so that we could enjoy winters play day.
When we got home we snuggled up on the couch together with big warm quilts and watched Christmas movies while we ate popcorn and candy.

Ah; the perfect cozy winter day.

Introducing Music and Movie (M&M) Mondays

2008-12-08T16:35:00.000-08:00

Music and Movie Mondays

Hey everyone, this is my very first entry on my Music and Movie Mondays. Over the next few Mondays I will be writing about my favorite music genre, Jazz. I wanted to start by telling you about my favorite jazz musician, The Father of Jazz, Mr. Louis Armstrong.

For many years it was thought that Louis Daniel Armstrong was born in New Orleans on the 4th of July, 1900. It was what Louis thought anyway, however, it was discovered that Louis’s birth certificate proved that Louis was really born on August 4 1901. Soon after his birth his father, William Armstrong, abandoned him and his mother, Mary Ann Armstrong. He was born and raised in one of the toughest and poorest neighborhoods in New Orleans where he was raised by his maternal grandmother until he was five. When his mother became very sick he went to live with her. To support Louis and his little sister Beatrice, his mother became a prostitute, leaving Louis alone often to care for himself and Beatrice.

At a very young age, Louis started doing multiple jobs to help support his family. He would sing on street corners for pennies, worked a junk wagon, cleaned graves for tips, delivered milk, and sold many things such as coal, bananas, and newspapers.

His first instrument was a simple tin horn; he used it to draw attention to the junk collector’s wagon on which he worked. At age 7 the junk dealer he worked for helped him buy his first cornet for $5 at a pawn shop after which he taught himself to play.

At age 11 he had his first formal lesson on the cornet in the Colored Waif’s Home, a reform institution. He was sent there after shooting off a pistol into the air at a New Year’s Eve Celebration, December 31, 1912. “My whole success goes back to that time,” said Louis. There he joined the school band and was soon made leader. He was released on June 16, 1914, after which he decided to pursue a career as a musician.

Armstrong later began to perform with pick-up bands in small clubs, funerals, picnics, and parades around town; this is how he captured the ear of Joe “King” Oliver, a member of Kid Ory’s Band, one of the finest Cornet players around. Oliver became his mentor, and when Oliver left for Chicago, Armstrong took his place in Kid Ory’s Band.

In 1922 Louis and his first wife, Daisy Parker, moved to Chicago to join his mentor, Joe Oliver, becoming a member of “King” Oliver’s Creole Jazz Band. In 1923 Daisy and Louis divorced; soon after Louis married the band’s pianist Lillian Hardin. Over the next few years Louis traveled between New York and Chicago playing and recording with several bands.

In 1925 Louis returned to Chicago, where he switched from the Cornet to the trumpet and vocals. From 1925 to 1928, Louis led a recording group known as the “Hot Five” and “Hot Seven”. They produced nearly 90 recordings, which included hits such as “Potato Head Blues”, “Big Butter and Egg Man”, “The Heebie Jeebies”, and “West End Blues”. It was 1926 when the “Hot Five” recorded “The Heebie Jeebies”, which was a song about a popular dance. It was the second time Louis had ever sung on a recording. During the second verse of the song Louis dropped his sheet music and could not remember the words to the song. He improvised and began to scat “Deep-dah-jeep-bop-a-dobby-on-doe-dah, leep-a-la-da-dee-da-dee-on-bo.” Although Louis hadn’t invented this type of singing, it was he who had been the first person to record it. People loved it, and it sold over 40,000 copies in just a few weeks.

In 1935 Joe Glaser became Armstrong’s manager, and remained his manager for the rest of his career, helping Armstrong become an international star. With Glaser as his manager, Louis performed in films, on the radio, and in the best theaters, dance halls, and night clubs. With Glaser, Louis recorded hits such as “Mack the Knife”, and “Blueberry Hill”. In 1964 his recording of “Hello, Dolly!” reached number one on the billboard charts. By this time in his life, people knew him more for his singing than his trumpet playing since his lips had become damaged by a lifetime of horn playing.

Louis was one of the very few African Americans to appear regularly in Hollywood films; he was known to bring a film to life. He appeared in 28 full-length films and many short features from 1931 to 1969. His last film in 1969 was a musical called “Hello Dolly” starring Barbra Streisand and Gene Kelly.

Louis Armstrong married again for the last time in 1942 to Lucille Wilson, a dancer at the Cotton Club where Louis and his band had been playing. They bought a home in Corona, Queens, where they lived out the rest of their days together.

He became “Ambassador Satch” for America after World War II, spreading good will around the world; he toured Europe, Africa, Japan, Australia, and South America. By the 50’s Louis had become established as an international celebrity.

Armstrong, with his great big beautiful piano key smile and his unforgettable sandpapery voice, is an American icon for Jazz lovers everywhere. He performed regularly until recurring health problems gradually put an end to his trumpet playing and singing. In the last year of his life he traveled to London twice, appeared in over a dozen television shows, and performed at the Newport Jazz Festival to celebrate his 70th birthday.

Louis died in his sleep on July 6, 1971. Since then his legend has lived on. Dizzy Gillespie once said of Louis Armstrong: "If it hadn't been for him, there would have been none of us. I want to thank Mr. Louis Armstrong for my livelihood." Miles Davis agreed: "Louis has been through all kinds of styles. You know you can't play anything on a horn Louis hasn't played." This was true for many other Jazz musicians who had been greatly influenced and inspired by the music of the great Louis Armstrong, and in my opinion the greatest Jazz musician that ever lived.

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“Louis Armstrong.” Biographies: Life and Times of the Great Ones. 2000. Jazz at Lincoln Center. 30 Sep. 2008 <http://www.pbs.org/jazz/biography/artist_id_armstrong_louis.htm>.
“Louis Armstrong.” Legacy Recordings. 2008. Sony BMG Music Entertainment. 30 Sep. 2008. <http://www.legacyrecordings.com/Louis-Armstrong.aspx>.
“Louis Armstrong: A Cultural Legacy.” National Portrait Gallery. 08 Dec. 2004. National Endowment for the Humanities. 30 Sep. 2008 .

O Christmas Tree

2008-11-28T23:00:00.000-08:00

Today was certainly a fun day. I love setting up the Christmas tree; I made sure to wait till after Thanksgiving. Chris helped me by bringing in the decorations and helping me get the tree all situated in the perfect location. We listened to Christmas music as we decorated the tree together. It was fun.

Tenshi and Koko were so excited they kept racing up and down the hallway. Their favorite holiday is definately Christmas; they know it is my favorite time of year as well. Tenshi loves to lick the tree like a lollipop, it is so hard for me to enforce the rules when she does that because it is so darn cute when she does it, but I try not to let her know it (she loves to make me smile, and if she sees that I like something she repeats it, what a sweetie).

I couldn't seem to get the camera to take a picture of the tree with the lights on, so this is my best effort. Oh well, it turned out fabulous and it is everyone's favorite room in the house to hang out in now.

The Bridegroom

2008-09-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

Had she lost him?

Was he gone now?

Was the perfect soul released?

Did God take him,

And remake him,

Was his promise to her ceased?

The perfect soul consecrated for only she.
Their contract now abolished no longer was it to be.

She was told to be patient and wait for her betrothed,

But with the fear of the unknown her heart became loath.

Now her bridegroom's arrived,

And she's been caught off guard.

Life for her has been so weary,

For her, life has been so hard.

As she goes to grab her lamp now,

No trace of light from it doth shine,

And she with no more oil,

Unworthy, has been turned into swine.

All pearls have been taken from her,

All her hope has been cast aside,

And the Bridegroom claims he does not know her,

No more of her will he abide.

The door has been shut,

It will not open,

Shame runs down her tearstained face,

The sorrow inside her is unsurmountable,

She is alone for all time and space.

An Apology to the Ones I Love

2008-09-08T02:50:00.000-07:00

Isn't life suppose to be full of happiness with only brief moments of sadness? It seems just the opposite for me. Lately I go back and forth with how I feel inside. Sometimes I truly feel I've gone mad and I wonder who I can turn to for sanity and peace. Sometimes when I view the success of my loved ones, I am proud of them and their accomplishments, but then I find myself viewing myself as a failure at life.

Sally Owens (Practical Magic) says what I feel best:

"Sometimes I feel there is a hole inside of me. An emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean...

I have this dream of being whole, not going to sleep each night wanting...

I just want to be loved; I want to be seen."

I have never been one who looks back and says "I wonder what could have been", but lately I do find myself wondering, what if I had lived my life differently...made some different choices...what would my life be like today? Would I have been happier? Better off? More successful? I'll never know, cause I can't rewind time. I wont know what might have been.

I made a mistake, and my pride has kept me from saying this sooner. I apologize to my family for writing to them in a moment of anger. I am sorry for saying what I said. The love and respect I hold for you all is immeasurable. I expected words of anger back, but instead you showered me with love. I am so sorry. Please forgive me for what I said.

I have so many emotions running through me as of late, and sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out. Sometimes I feel so alone.

I wrote a poem not to long ago expressing how I was feeling in that moment, I believe in April, it is still untitled, but here it is:

Untitled

Blackness drips like rain.
A white pallet soaks it in.
Silver to the touch, the cold, shiny steel.
Tracing with a delicate finger, sliding smoothly near the blade.
A single tear hits the surface distorting the image reflecting back.

Cold to the touch the white porcelain face,
The blackest, fullest lashes seal the tear stained eyes.
Red lips that once held laughter now motionless, and content.
The blackness engulfs the picturesque maiden.

Dawn breaks with a breeze that carries the reddest of blossoms.
They dance in the wind, free of worry, full of life.
The songbird sings a still sweet sound, conducted by the tall thick cattails.

The willow tree that gives her cover soothes her cool still face.
Its lazy branches keep rhythm to the orchestra of the fields, brushing her pallid cheek.
There is a stillness in the air, which one does not oft notice.
A reverence held only by nature.

A single rose lay near the knife, red beauty kissed with dew,
The wind picks up just one last time,
Taking the pain, taking the hurt, taking the worry.
A smile is born up in the sky, in clouds, in air, in wind.

No more will the salt sting her soft warm face,
No longer the torment to keep her down,
Never again will the pain claim her heart.

She smiles down on the beauty of life,
She contemplates her freedom,
She sings along with the songbird's song,
Forever dancing to its rhythm.

Here is another Poem I wrote back in March:

Glass Doll

Loneliness fills my heart as your distant eyes brush my way,
An emptiness swims inside of me.
Your touch is cold and insincere,
Though you sit near, you've never been so far.
A tear falls down my cheek as I long for your warmth.
I am locked in a box and you hold the key,
I am a doll on display that never comes out to play.
Take me out and break me,
Bring me to life.
I long for you as I watch you leave,
I reach for you like a child to its gaurdian.
Once upon a time a strong budding love,
Is now wilting and weeps for revival.
You hold my heart in your hand,
As you walk from my sight.
My breath is fading,
My sight is lost.
Emptiness.
Loneliness
All is black.

This is just a way for me to express my feelings in those moments. I'm sorry that I wrote in a time when I should have been meditating and writing in my journal. I'm sorry that I took what I was feeling in a moment of passion and threw it all over you. I hope that in time you can forgive and forget. You are not expendable and I shouldn't have written what I did.
Please know that I love you all, and I don't want to burn bridges. I got some very good insight and advice from all of your comments and it helped me to put my feelings and my actions into perspective, and I wish now that I could take it back. All I can do is hope that you will forgive my harshness.

Camping Fiasco Part One

2008-09-01T20:05:00.000-07:00

Ah, the great outdoors, my favorite place to be.

I decided that one of the things I wanted to do most this year was go camping.

Chris had a routine doctors appointment set on the 7th of August, in Eugene. We decided that after his appointment we would head east on highway 126 towards Bend to find a good camping spot. However, we didn't expect Chris's doctor visit to last for over 2 hours.

Since the Doctor appointment took most of our daylight, we hurried with our shopping trip, choosing only that nights worth of groceries and supplies.

I was getting pretty nervous because I knew we only had about 2 maybe 3 good hours of daylight left to find a prime camping spot.

We knew that there were tons of camping sites that you had to pay a fee to camp out that way, but we had high hopes that we would find a free site, since we didn't have any money.

We searched and searched finding sites that were just to rocky and that would not be enjoyable to camp in. We took the Blue River Reservoir Rd hoping we would find something soon. If we had to pay for a site it would have to be cheap, so we crossed our fingers.

When we found the perfect camping spot we were so excited. It was everything we had hoped for. A huge site nestled in the woods with a trail that led down to the river. It was so beautiful and quiet; it was absolutely perfect. We walked around scoping out our site and looking for a sign or something that would tell us how much it would cost us. We thought about $5, maybe $10 at the most.

Well, along comes Mr. ranger, and he approaches us like we are two delinquents trying to steal a free night of camping.

We approached him with big smiles, happy that we'd found such a cool place, and asked him how much it was and where we could pay.

He sternly replied, "You realize this is a double lot don't you?"

We shook our heads. Of course we didn't, it looked regular to me.

He proceeded to scowl and tell us that we would have to pay him $25 if we were planning on staying here.

We nodded and smiled at him and then exchanged looks of defeat with each other. We were crushed. This was not our spot.

As we packed up to move, we asked him how much it would be to camp in a smaller lot and where we would find them. He pointed up the road and told us we'd have to pay $14 a night, and we’d have to pay by morning if we were planning to stay past noon the next day.

We eagerlessly ventured toward the more affordable lots. Every lot available was extremely small and sandwiched between huge parties of people. The best lot had a big pile of dog poo at the entrance to greet us. This was not our idea of a camping trip.

A knot began building up in my throat as I felt the camping trip begin to fall apart; we were both getting very tired and feeling pretty defeated. Neither of us liked the idea of paying $14 to sleep in the wild, in the middle of a large and very loud party. Shouldn't camping be free? We are sleeping on the ground under the stars after all.

We dug in our car for every trace of change that we could, we found just enough to stay. As we sat tired and frustrated filling out the form to stay, I let Chris know that I REALLY did want to camp, but this wasn’t exactly what I had had in mind. For $14 we had better be happy with the location and this was just not the right place.

We agreed that we were done searching for a site, it had gotten way to dark, and the options were to either stay here or go home. The knot in my throat grew bigger, because I knew if we stayed we would not have a good time. We voted the camping trip over and we would just have to try again on a different day, with an early start. We once again packed up the car and began to leave the reservoir.

On the way out, we stopped to view the river and watch the moon rise. It was absolutely beautiful. Even though we weren't able to camp that night, at least we were able to explore a little bit of the beautiful Blue River Reservoir.

That was attempt number one, and by golly we tried again, but that is another story.

http://www.fs.fed.us/r6/willamette/recreation/camping/index.html

http://www.hoodoo.com/mona.htm

Come Sail Away

2008-08-31T16:44:00.000-07:00

Early Thursday morning Chris and I excitedly prepared for the day ahead of us. We had been invited by his father to go sailing with him in his 26' sailboat. So comfortably it fits about 4 people, anymore would just be too much. Luckily it was just us three, so it was perfect.

Before we got started we decided to grab a bite to eat. I was intimidated by the menu, as everything was greasy and pretty expensive. A Chilli cheese dog was probably the cheapest item, running at $7. My fear was that I would eat it and then get uncontrolable gas out on the boat. How embarrassing. I got past my fear though and gave into hunger, ordering myself a chilli cheese dog and some water. I am proud to say, when I was finished I was not wearing a trace of chilli on my clothes or face. There's a first time for everything.

We finished our meals and proceeded to the boat. There was a good couple of inches between the dock and the boat, with water to catch my fall if I slipped. I grabbed hold of the boat and desperately pulled myself up onto the boat.

Chris and his dad worked on getting it sailable for the day. I sat back and watched, thinking that if anything should happen to them, I'd be up a creek without a paddle.

As we pushed off, a dragonfly that had followed us to the boat kept landing and keeping me company. It had a large body and huge bug eyes. It even had a great big smile. It reminded me of a cartoon, because it seemed to have a bit of a personality as it stared at me with it's funny smile.

We putted along the still water in the columbia river, not a trace of wind for our sails. We motored up the river for quite a while before we decided to bring out the sails to try our luck at catching some wind. We slowly floated back down the way we had just come from, pulled by the current in the water alone. A hot windless day. My feet felt as if they had caught fire. I had overdressed thinking it would be cold. I was melting in front of Chris's dad, trying to remain smiling and to appear as if I didn't have a problem in the world, as I stealthily would wash away the sweat when he wasn't looking.

We finally decided to call it a day when we all started melting away in the hot sun. We put the sails away and secured the ropes and slowly motored back to the marina. A nice breeze from the movement produced by our motor cooled our hot skin. I looked over and again noticed our little dragonfly buddy.

Our little dragonfly looked as if he was were riding on a waverunner or a jet ski, wind blowing on his face. He had the biggest smile I'd seen, like he knew something I didn't. How odd that he had a smile. He was facing me as I watched him, and the strangest thing happened. His whole head cocked to one side as if he was asking me what I was looking at. My mouth dropped open and I looked up at Chris to see if he'd seen it too. He had. We both started laughing. I've never seen an insect do that before.

Just the simple human motion made me ponder things in nature. I began thinking about reincarnations, like what if it was Grandpa Dick coming by to give us one of his big smiles and let us know he was ok now.

I once saw a movie where a simple dragonfly was actually a fairy, and until the little girl admitted to the dragonfly that she knew it was really a fairy, it stayed concealed in its insect form. Once she let on that she knew what it really was a beautiful fairy emerged and revealed itself to her. Magic hidden in simple forms all around us, waiting to be revealed to those who believed.

The world is full of magic, and whether we believe or not is up to us. Nature itself is magical, but what if the unexplained and supernatural exist. How exciting to think of a hidden world within our own world disguised as a regular creature such as a dragonfly or a garden spider. What if a gracefull gazelle was really an elf in disguise. Yes, what if. Life is more fun when the question "what if" is asked. Think of all the possiblities.

Okay, so back to reality. The day was not a successful sailing trip, however it was a success in that we were able to get away from reality for a short while and ponder in each others company. It was a peaceful, even though hot, and relaxing experience.

The Birthday Boy

2008-08-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

I never knew how lucky and privileged I was to live so close and be the granddaughter of such a sweet, intelligent, and loving man. I remember we would drive to grandpa's house when I was a little girl and we'd go out to grandpa's warehouse and help him out. I would go explore the isles that held nuts and bolts, nails and screws. To this day when I go to a hardware store I take in the ever so familiar aromas and become draped with nostalgia.

Visiting grandpa in his big magical Dundee house was like going home. I always felt comfortable, and although I had to do chores, I loved being there. He always had a story to tell, and I was always eager to hear it. He always danced a jig when he was happy, excited, or had just been sitting for too long. But Grandpa never really sat for to long. He was a hard working man, and to this day still is.

I guess when I was young I believed he and grandma would be here forever. They would live nearby me forever and never die. Life is not about living forever though. It is about living your life to the fullest with what little time you have. Using your time wisely to work and play so that when it is time to die you are ready and have nothing left you feel that your life is missing. Grandpa and Grandma have lived such a life. I still imagine in my mind that they will live forever, no matter what happens.

You never know what you have until you lose it. Grandpa and Grandma are still alive and kicking, healthy and able. What I'm losing is the ability to see them every day. What I took for granted is that they were here with open arms inviting us to visit them and spend time with them. What I'm losing is the option to do this while they are living out their last days.

When one door shuts another door opens. Although it is a loss and very sad for me and anyone else in my family who can't afford to travel, it means that others are gaining the advantage of being able to see their beloved Grandparents. They are moving to a location where they are going to be surrounded by family. They probably wont have a moments peace because of all the grandchildren and great grandchildren that will be visiting them almost every day.

My advice to you is don't forget what a gift it will be to have them near you. Don't pass up the chance to bond with them and share your love with them while they are still here. I only have a month and a half until I say good bye to them. I pray you have years and years of healthy grandparents before they are through with their journey on earth. Give them hugs and tell them you love them for me as often as you can.

Today is a day worth celebrating, 90 years old and still going strong. To a man who loves loves loves birthdays, Happy Happy Birthday to you, dear Grandpa. I love you so much.

My First Blog

2008-08-30T00:29:00.000-07:00

At the request of my beloved cousins, I have finally started my own blog.

I haven't really done that much with it yet, I am just getting to know how to use it and modify it to my personality.

Beware when you read my blog, for inside my mind you may find cobwebs, disturbing images, and craziness. However, you may also find peace, love, and happiness.

Most importantly, I hope you find yourself reading my blog and enjoying it.